{At a bar. Bartender is behind counter. Man is at one end of the bar.}

[Woman walks in]

Bartender: ‘Ello. What would you like to drink?

Woman: I’ll have a White Russian.

Bartender: Right ho!

[Man looks up at woman. Studies her up and down. Fixes his tie, tucks in shirt, fixes pants, and slicks back hair. Walks over to Woman.]

Man: Hello miss, haven’t ever seen you round here before.

[Woman looks at Man.]

Woman: I’m not one to drink during the day. Unlike yourself, I find that alcoholism is best kept in the home.

Man: Well pardon me for having a little sip or two now and then to lighten up me spirits. Get it, [nudges woman] spirits.

Woman: Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom. Seems as if something inside of me has just got to get out of here.

[Woman starts walking towards back. Man winks at Bartender, then catches up with Woman.]

Man: Excuse me miss, but what is your name?

Woman: Why should you want to know?

Man: Well it’d be kind of awkward if I asked AFTER we had sex.

Woman: How dare you!

[Woman slaps Man]

Man: Ow, hey! That was a real slap

Woman: Of course it was.

Man: Yeah, but why?

Woman: You offended me.

Man: Yeah, but it’s not what the script says.

Woman: Script!?

Man: Uhuh, you know, that little stack of papers you read before you came on stage. Look, forget about it. Let’s just try it again. Now say, "Why should you want to know?"

Woman: Why should you want to know?

Man: Well it’s be a little awkward if I asked AFTER we had sex.

[Woman slaps Man]

Man: That one you really hurt. What are you doing?

Woman: You are a very vulgar man.

Man: Don’t talk to me, talk to the writers. I’m just trying to make a living here.

Bartender: Yeah, c’mon lady let’s go. I got a family I’d like to get home to sometime soon.

Woman: Are all of you people nutso!? What are talking about?

Man: What is your problem? [Pause, head down pinching bridge of nose] Alright, let’s try this one more time. Now you say, "Why should. . ."

Woman: Yes yes, I know. Why should you want to know?

Man: Well it’d be a little awkward if I asked AFTER we had sex.

Woman: Alright, Jane if you must know.

[They start walking offstage. Conversation continue.]

Man: I was thinking the men’s room would be exotic.

Woman: And dirty. The women’s room will be much nicer. I refuse to go into that cesspit you call a restroom.

Man: Whatever lady.